1. A couple of weeks ago I was tipsily shopping at 7-11. A couple of police officers were in there, chilling behind the counter with the owner eating grody hot dogs and such. I gave them my polite smile that I reserve for policemen and firemen, and went along my merry way. I got the items I wanted, paid and left and was then approached by one of the police officers outside the store. "Excuse me, miss?" he called after me as I turned the corner back to my apartment. My mind was flooded with thoughts as to why a police officer would be talking to me. Did he smell the booze on my breath and was he going to arrest me for WUI (walking under the influence)? Was he going to warn me and tell me to be careful since there was a rape in the area? Was he going to arrest me for trying all of the Slurpee flavors before settling on a decision (cherry)? No, no and no. He was going to tell me I was very beautiful and then ask me for my phone number. I was shocked. Like, what? Is this allowed? An on-duty police officer can approach women and ask them on a date? This seems odd to me. Also, he was a good half a foot shorter than me and all I could look at was the embroidered CPD on his turtleneck. Anyway, I turned him down. And then he handcuffed me and threw me in the back on the squad car. Kidding.

2. Last week Bryce told me that my eyes twinkle. Like Santa. This might be the best thing anyone has ever told me.

3. I'm on book five of the Harry Potter series and guess what? I'm actually enjoying them. Bryce thinks this is the most amazing thing ever and is seriously tickled whenever I say things like "The bus driver looks like Hagrid."

4. I still enjoy taking pictures in Millennium Park. Seriously, I'm such a tourist.



5. I've had a cough for going on three weeks and the only thing the doctor has suggested in Claritin. I'm pretty sure I'm going to die in the next week or so, if not from lack of oxygen, but from exhaustion. I haven't slept more than 4 hours in the past week. Neat.

6. Under my mini-wheat costume I wore a pair of $5 leggings I got from Target. Before I bought these leggings, I thought everyone who wore them was an idiot. But, um, guys? LEGGINGS ARE AWESOME. No wonder I wore them all the time when I was a little girl! Seriously, I've had these leggings for like, what? Three weeks now? That's twenty-one days. I think I've worn them at least fifteen times. Today I'm not wearing them with underwear underneath (tmi) and just went to Walgreens. And my shirt doesn't cover my ass. I'm pretty sure I was almost naked in Walgreens.

7. I went to Walgreens to buy a pint of ice cream. Yes, I eat ice cream by the pint and wear leggings. Help me.

8. My fam is headed to Florida this Christmas and I hope to re-create this photo from a Florida vacation many moons ago:



9. I've been reading all these posts on what to do with Thanksgiving leftovers. Guys, is my family the only family in which leftovers don't exist? We make like, three turkeys and a billion and a half pounds of potatoes and a metric ton of stuffing, only to have it gone in under an hour. Mmmm stuffing. My mom's having Thanksgiving this year. I think I will go there early to help and force her (ask nicely) to make three times the amount of stuffing. And maybe I'll whip up a bacon apple pie for the occasion.

10. I dog-sat Tippy last month and she had been bitten in the crotch by some other dog at this like, Jack Russell Terrier convention (don't ask) and so I had to put this doggie vagina ointment on her and then put on this Speedo so she woudn't like it off. Seriously, this was my brother's Speedo when he was like, three. Tippy didn't enjoy wearing them, to say the least.

Things have been going swimmingly in Anna Land lately. A few things of note:

1. I had my first state fair experience this weekend and it was glorious. More on that in a bit.

2. This is my last week of work so I'm trying to make myself appear busy. You know, like this is something new. I'm going out with work "colleagues" (this word has always sounded so mature to me. I am not mature. Does this mean I can't have colleagues?) Thursday after work for dollar beers. This likely means I will be hungover on my last day as a SCIENTIST. Guys, I'm kinda sad about this! About no longer being a scientist, not about being hungover. That's just a given. Anyway, on Friday my boss is taking me and the rest of my [hopefully] hungover LAB MATES out to lunch. I picked Flat Top Grill, as usual. That flat bread, it's calling my name.

3. MATH CAMP starts on Monday. I'm scared. What if the other kids don't like me? What if my mom packs me a bad lunch? What if a squirrel eats a hole in my backpack and steals my sandwich (true story)? What if I forget to wear my camp t-shirt on the field trip day?

4. I had my first physical therapy session this morning. It was sort of.. awkward? I didn't know physical therapists did ten minute scar rubdowns. What's that? They DON'T do ten minute scar rubdowns? Hmm. Did I mention that my scar is directly below my butt? In the butt crease? So, yeah, some dude rubbed that for a while while he talked to me about robots and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

5. I'm collecting the Scrabble pieces from Subway. I want to win $100,000. I mean, yeah, everyone wouldn't mind an extra hundred Gs, but I NEED it. My tuition bill came yesterday. Have you ever had a bill for fifty THOUSAND dollars? It's nauseating. Especially nauseating when I know I'm going to get another one. Neat. What I'm getting at is if you happen to eat at Subway between now and the beginning of October, please send me the codes for the Scrabble letters. It would make me a really happy girl and I'll be your best friend.

--
Now. Back to the fair. Did you know that the McDonald's in Bolingbrook, IL is totally awesome? You don't have to talk to anyone! You just order at this touch screen kiosk! There are real flowers on the tables! Free refills! I drank 64 ounces of Diet Coke! I told Katie all about it and we're going to make a pilgrimage. Seriously, it's that cool.

After I ate my weight in hashbrowns and bacon egg and cheese biscuits, Bryce and I continued on our way to Springfield, IL. Turns out, the state fair is just a giant carnival. With barnyard animals and a cow made out of a butter. Really, it's huge. I think it weighs a ton? Oh, and it's not just a butter COW, but a butter SCENE. A cow eating grass while a young, beardless Abraham Lincoln, also made of butter, lounges with his butter hatchet. Or something. Bryce and I want to know what they do with the butter after the fair is over. I mean, they can't just get rid of it. It's in this rotating refrigerated case, so it's not like it goes bad. We think that they should break it off into pieces and then sell it. I'd totally buy Abe Lincoln's nose and spread it on some nice cinnamon raisin toast.

I've decided that I would like a pet llama. I could pet it and maybe ride it and sell its soft fur. Did you know that llamas don't have top teeth?


After looking at the cows (cows are really flippin' big, did you know that?), pigs (I do not want a pet one of these, thanks), sheep, horses and llamas (dude, the goats were gone the day we went. I was super sad. I LOVE goats. Especially pygmy goats. I want one of those, too. Seriously.), we ate a crapload of food. Corndogs, turkey legs (that was all Bryce, gross), fresh potato chips, funnel cake... so greasy and so delicious. Then we both lost the BB gun shooting game. I think it's rigged. Granted I didn't go Mango Salsa to train this year, but I think I'm a decent shot. Anyway, no giant neon stuffed animals came home with us. Probably for the best.



We also went to this thing called Conservation World. It was cool! It talked about Illinois' natural resources and there were booths about SCIENCE and stuff so it was neat. I hope little kids liked it. Probably not as much as they liked the Tilt-a-Whirl, but there were still some fun things to do. You know, like pretend you're a law enforcement officer.


I obviously went into the wrong profession.

All in all, the state fair is super fun! I enjoyed being a redneck a lot more than I thought I would. The fact that there was a whole barn dedicated to Illinois wineries helped. Wine tasting at the state fair! Who knew? It was also awesome that it was a PERFECT day on Saturday. Sunny with a few clouds, mid-70s, breezy. Made for a pretty sunset, too.



After a day full of llamas, corndogs, flashing lights, motion sickness and livestock made of butter, we bought a one way ticket on the sky tram out of the fair and drove off into the sunset. Well, away from the sunset. Whatever.



Oh, and when we got home (at midnight), I insisted we both shower because our feet were blackened with dirt, and likely manure, and I was convinced we smelled like carnies.

Good start to the day: Dr. Surgeon Man Person cleared me to start riding a stationary bike (nevermind that stationary bikes are the worst/most boring things at the gym, I get to be somewhat physically active! Hip hip!) and I can start physical therapy (if I want to... which I think is weird. I have a choice if I want to go? I'll probably going to because I think it sounds sorta fun. And torturous, but that's okay.). I had yet another person palpitating my butt this morning, but they told me I'm healing nicely and that I should be proud of myself. Which feels good, until I remember that I'm the one who did this to myself in the first place.

Heidi's bachelorette party was on Saturday and, hoo boy, I'm so old it's not even funny. I had the worst hangover of my life yesterday and I'm still reaching for the ginger ale today. Three hours of all you can eat/drink Mexican, as it turns out, wreaks havoc on your organ systems. Yesterday morning (afternoon) I crawled out of bed to make sure I had my phone/wallet/dignity (as evidenced by photos on my camera) inside my purse and found:

-Two (2) penis maracas
-One (1) penis straw
-Two (2) beer bottle ponchos
-Three (3) flour tortillas, one (1) with bite marks in it.
-Approximately twelve (12) smashed tortilla chips wrapped in a parcel with one (1) stolen cloth napkin

We went to Fernando's for dinner and margaritas and then hopped into cabs and headed to the Viagra Triangle (Clark/Division area. Gross.), where Heidi danced on the bar and drank booze out of the bottle. Then we went to Carol's Pub in Uptown, where we had to pay cover (what?). I made some innocent named Shane take off his shirt, whoops. Then I decided I'd had enough and I hopped into a cab home. Seventeen dollars later the cabbie was telling me his credit card machine was broken (surprise surprise, haven't hard that one before) and I was yelling at him either to fix it or take seven dollars because that's all the cash I had. He took the seven dollars. I felt a little bad until I remembered that he was sorta a tool and had no idea where he was going and I had to tell him where he needed to be driving. Cab drivers. They are retarded.

Bryce is in CANCUN for work this week. His boss emailed him last week and was all "you need to come to my office" and of course Bryce is all wtf did I do blah blah blah BUT turns out his boss can't go to a conference in MEXICO and he sent Bryce in his place. So he's lounging on the beach with a cocktail for "work" and I'm sitting on the computer in humid-ass Chicago with a headache "working".

Bryce: so funny story
Bryce: the hotel has 2 restaurants
Bryce: both are pretty nice looking
Bryce: one's italian, one's seafood
Bryce: anyway, i checked out the menus
Bryce: and all the entrees were like $220
Anna: hahahah
Bryce: so i actually went up and asked a concierge
Bryce: ummm is the food really hundreds of dollars for an entree
Bryce: because i'm like yes this is a luxury hotel
Bryce: maybe even 5 stars
Bryce: but c'mon
Anna: hahaha i mean, seriously
Bryce: i actually started to panic
Bryce: because i was suuuuper hungry
Anna: is it in pesos or something
Bryce: YES
Bryce: hahaha that was it
Bryce: they use the fucking $ symbol though
Anna: hahaha
Bryce: so, actually divide by 12
Anna: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Bryce: i was horrifiiiiied
Anna: 220 dollars for cheese ravioli
Bryce: no that's what it said!
Anna: no big deal
Bryce: appetizers $80
Bryce: i was like
Bryce: bruschetta $80?!?!?
Anna: HAHAHAHAHA
Bryce: even if it had just said 80
Bryce:i might have thought about it
Bryce: but $$$$$$$$80

Generated by im2html.

Why do I find the above story so hilarious? I think it's just because I can totally see myself doing the same thing. TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN DOLLARS FOR BAKED LASAGNA? ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY FIVE DOLLARS FOR A CHICKEN CAESAR SALAD?!

Katie is back from RIO and BUENOS AIRES (can you tell I'm bitter about my lack of vacation?) so I have to start wearing pants in my apartment again. Thumbs down. She did bring me back a scarf though, so that was nice of her.

I'm not entirely sure if I've written about this or not (I know that I've told cadette all about it), but I love farting at work. Secretly. Crop dusting. I get a stupid kick out of it. Yes, I'm gross and you should be happy you don't work with me. Actually, that's not true. I'm fun to work with. I keep the party going. And I invite people on Field Trips to places like CVS and various lunch establishments and bring in delicious bagels from time to time. Totally makes up for the occasional toot. AND I limit myself to unpopulated areas or by people I hate if on some off chance the toot in question smells. Which it usually doesn't. I'm a woman with a plan.

Anyway, I haven't BROKE WIND in front of Bryce [yet] because he is like, a non-farter. What kind of dude doesn't fart? What kind of HUMAN doesn't fart? I think it has something to do with him being an only child. He never had to battle someone in burp blowing or have a brother sit on them and fart. Or pee on them in bed on vacation, but that's another story entirely. We've discussed the farting thing, he says that he doesn't care and I can fart to my heart's content, but that he probably won't. So of course I don't because I can't be the weird and gassy girlfriend. So I hold them in like a proper LADY. EXCEPT for a few days ago when Bryce was over and I was dozing off to sleep and I must have had that like, total muscle relaxation thing going on and one escaped and I was immediately startled awake. But he wasn't. My LADYLIKENESS has been preserved for the time being. Or something. Do most people fart in front of friends and loved ones? I do. My friends do. My family does. Exes have. Farts for all!

Unrelated, I made twice baked potatoes last night and I can't get enough. Cheesy, bacon-y, potato-y goodness. Quite possibly the world's most perfect food? Isn't that the catchphrase for some kind of food? Like bananas or maybe avocados? Am I making this up? I googled it and apparently it's the slogan for SQUEEZ BACON (gah) but God knows I'm not thinking of that. Anyway, I made them for dinner tonight since they take like, a hundred years to make (fine, an hour and a half) and I can't be bothered to do that tonight. But I had one for a snack last night and then breakfast this morning (and some cornbread... I was on a cooking kick last night) and then have one for lunch, too. And then I'll make CORNFLAKE chicken and a FIESTA salad and BISCUITS (since I can't stop thinking about them after POPEYE'S last week) and have ANOTHER potato. And then I'll unbutton my pants.

I hate the word chinos. CHINOS.

Also unrelated (well, hopefully):

I think my HEALING is going well. I'm supposed to be using one crutch but I'd been walking around crutchless for the majority of the weekend and have been relatively pain-free. I did, however, bring a crutch to work because I want my special treatment to continue. :D

Heidi's bachelorette party is this weekend and we're all supposed to prance around in black dresses while Heidi rocks an all white outfit a la Puff Daddy. Or something. I don't think I'm going to be able to strut in the 4 inch stilettos quite yet, so I went to the mall yesterday to find some cute flats that still put me in a sassy mood. Yes, shoes dictate my mood. I ended up getting these, which I'm going to pair with my black shirt dress with a lime colored tank underneath. Black dress with citrus accents! Hip hip!




I also bought a printed wrap dress with 3/4 length sleeves. I don't really have an occasion to wear it YET, seeing as it's like, 95 degrees outside, but I figure I might have some SOCIAL EVENT THINGS once grad school starts next month or even MY BIRTHDAY. But anyway, I have this cute dress on and I'm like, "Dude, MOM (who was there with me because she's the only person who tells me when things look truly awful and I don't get offended) this dress smells like ground beef and hot onions." And then I made her smell the armpit of the dress and then she almost puked. It was totally obvious that someone had purchased the dress (evident by that little sticker Nordstrom puts on the tag when you buy something), tucked the tags in and wore it and then returned it. So fucking nasty, seriously. So then the saleslady came to the dressing room to see how things were going and my mom is like, "Um, you need to SMELL this dress, someone has worn it, blah blah blah this is the only one you have and it's a great dress but it reeks of body odor. SMELL IT." The lady refused to smell the dress (hahaha, probably the correct decision) but is adamantly against letting me buy it at half price as I offered (hey, nothing a cleaner couldn't take care of I HOPE. Unless it was like, rocket fuel strength body odor) because she wasn't allowed to and that it was going to be sent to the furnace. Um, really, the GIANT CLOTHES BURNING FURNACE in the basement of Nordstrom's? Anyway, they found one in Oregon and they're shipping it to me. Here's hoping that this one doesn't smell like that grody Philosophy Cinnamon Buns body wash. Barf.

Speaking of barf, I think it would be in my best interest to become bulimic. I'M KIDDING, obviously, but really, I need to stop eating so much shit seeing as how my "exercise" is limited to me hobbling to and from my car and lifting up my laundry basket (a recent accomplishment). Last week Bryce came over around 9pm and I was whining about being hungry and to appease me he asked if I could have anything in the whole wide world to eat, what would it be? And I was all MASHED POTATOES, MASHED POTATOES. So what did we do? We went to Popeye's (the first trip for both of us) and I ate a large tub of mashed potatoes and cajun gravy (thumbs up) and a small tub of coleslaw (thumbs down... there are pickles in it. Um, no thanks.) and Bryce ate a bunch of Lousiana chicken tenders (the SPICY ones), which he proclaimed to be the best chicken tenders he's had in his entire life. Basically we were the happiest people at 10pm on a Thursday night in all the land. The end. Except not. On Saturday I hiked (hobbled) to Jewel in the 98 degree heat + 100% humidity to get the fixin's to make a dirt cake. For myself. And I had some for breakfast today and will have some more for dinner tonight. Calcium and antioxidants, right? RIGHT.

I'm in a bit of a funk lately and just need to keep staring at pictures of baby wallabies to make me feel better. Right after my surgery I was optimistic and just happy it was over and that I was on the road to recovery. Now I'm so ridiculously sick of crutches and not being able to do much of anything besides sit on the couch. It's the middle of summer and I'm turning down invitations to go to street fests because crutches and wandering around drinking definitely do not go hand in hand. I'm pretty good on the crutches, Bryce jokes that I could win various Olympic medals in crutching events, but my entire upper body aches after a few blocks of "walking" and I'm completely exhausted. I hate that getting up to get a Diet Coke from the refrigerator is a giant ordeal, and I hate that I managed to make myself an entire dinner one night only to realize I had no way to carry my plate to the table to actually eat. I went to the [first place!] Cubs game on Friday with my dad and seriously thought I was going to die crutching up the never-ending ramps up to our [extremely shitty] seats. I conquered the ramps only to be greeted by the steepest stairs known to man, and with no railing. I'm sick of not being over to bend over and shave the lower half of my legs (because really, who really cares about shaving the tops of their legs?). I want to go to the beach without worrying about whether my scar is allowed to be in the sun (I'm assuming no) and a bar without fearing a drunk person knocking me over. I'm whiny and helpless and so completely sick of this summer. Oh, and all the muscles in my left leg are completely atrophying from not using them in over a month. Neat.

Blah blah blah.

In other news, Bryce and I are planning on going to the Illinois State Fair at the end of August! I've never been to a state (or county) fair and he thinks this is totally idiotic, so we're road-tripping to Springfield to see a cow made of butter and to eat about seven dozen ears of corn on the cob. Oh, and he is insisting on winning me a giant stuffed animal playing shooting games. I'm dating a preppy carny, apparenty.

BABY WALLABIES BABY WALLABIES BABY WALLABIES


hold me, baby wallabies, hold me.

I'm alive! And repaired! I had my hamstring sewn to my pelvic bone two weeks ago on July 7th and have been lying on the couch for the past two weeks, getting up only to "use the facilities", which was, I have to say, quite horrifying seeing as my bandage ended about a half inch into my butt crack and I was terrified of getting poo on it. Hi, I'm Anna and I have no filter. :D

Anyway, everything went as planned. Actually, better than planned! They decided in surgery to make the incision horizontal instead of vertical as they originally planned, so it's pretty well hidden in my butt crease. So, that's pretty neat. I stayed at my parent's house so I'd have someone to cook for me and wash my hair in the sink (today was my first shower in two weeks! Best shower of my life!) and catch me if I went tumbling down the stairs (I didn't/haven't yet). I didn't do a whole lot of anything those two weeks other than sleep and pet the dog. And take a lot of pain killers. Oh, I flew to DC over the weekend (in a wheelchair) to see the Cubs/Nationals series. FYI, being in a wheelchair totally sucks. I have a new respect for people who are always in wheelchairs... it's super hard and super inconvenient to get around the majority of places. Props to DC for having completely wheelchair accessible Metro stations, because that's so not the case here in Chicago, but it still totally blows. Totally. Blows. Anyway, the games were fun. Cubs won. Brian came to the game on Friday and snuck into seats by ours. It was good to see him, even if he IS turning into a total hipster. ;)

Today is my first day back to work. It's weird being here. I want to go home and take some pills and a nap after I watch Maury. Bad news, right? HAHA.

Oh, and for those keeping score at home, I'm still seeing the Cheerios at 2am dude. His name is Bryce and he even carries my purse when I'm gimping around on my crutches. Quite excellent.

I had an awesome weekend. For real. NO LIES.

I went for my first run in approximately a year on Thursday. Three miles! Meaning I'll be able to run the 5k I signed up to do this upcoming weekend! Haha, my friends think I'm ridiculous, that I signed up to run a race, even if it is just a 5k, not having run in over a year. But I did it! Nevermind the fact that every muscle in my lower body is now tight. It's a good hurt. I just hope it goes away by Saturday when I have to do it again. Can I run a race with an iPod? Is that allowed?

On Friday I went out with Katie and her bf and his roommate, and our hot upstairs neighbor came out with us. He's all sorts of hilarious.

Saturday was spent in Wrigleyville, drinking too many beers and cheering on the Cubbies at the bar. There were some cheese fries in there. And then the Blackhawks game was on so we went home to watch it there and drink on the cheap ($5 six-packs instead of $5 beers). So we ordered Thai food and watched the game and "fell asleep" early because we were seriously exhausto from the night before. Bulls win! Cubs win! Hawks win!

Sunday I went out to lunch with my parents and seriously could not stop laughing because my mom would not stop talking about how much she hates "mouth breathers". I never even paid attention to it, but now that I'm looking for it, THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. And my mom is right, they do look super ridiculous and I now hate them too.

My uncle just called and offered me tickets to Cubs/Cardinals in St. Louis this upcoming weekend. I can't go on Saturday (Wrigley race + going out for Katie's birthday), but I'm taking the Sunday tickets. It's at like, 1:15pm, meaning I'll have to drag myself out of bed at 6am after a night out drinking to get there in time... but HELLO! Cubs vs. Cardinals! Sunday day game! Sunny and 81 degrees! And awesome seats! So there! I invited Katie as a birthday present, and she's THINKING ABOUT IT. I mean, WHAT THE HELL. I know it's the night after her birthday, but, uh, what the shit? YOU GO. I'm giving her until the end of the day. And if she doesn't go I'm losing all respect for her. The only thing I feel SLIGHTLY bad about (whoops!) is that it's the same day as my cousin's bridal shower. The daughter of the uncle giving me tickets. Again, WHOOPS. Still going!

My coworker, Planters, has recently seen Across the Universe and has "discovered" the Beatles. She'll start singing "All My Loving" (singing badly) and is like, "Have you ever heard this song before? It's from that movie, Across the Universe! I just bought the soundtrack!" And I try to tell her they're Beatles songs and from the 1960s and jesus christ, yes, for the love of god, I've heard the song "Strawberry Fields" before. She seriously won't have it. She's all, "These are different songs! By different people!" And, okay, fine, different people are SINGING them, that doesn't mean they're different SONGS. Ugh, she's so moronic.

Today I went on a lunch date with a guy I had gone to dinner with like, a month and a half ago. The dinner wasn't totally awful, it was more that I thought he was super awkward. Apparently he thought it was SUPER FUN though, and texted me for like weeks straight asking when we could hang out again. He was literally begging me to invite him out for my birthday and it was just NO, I met you once, you don't get to frolic with my brother and friends yet. Baby steps. Anyway, he IM'd me a couple days ago apologizing for "being MIA" (I didn't say that I hadn't noticed and didn't care) and asked me if I wanted to do lunch sometime this week and as I was telling Aja, either I'm bored with life or super desperate because I agreed. I guess I was hoping he wouldn't be super awkward again and that he wouldn't wear a suit and look like an encyclopedia salesman like he did the last time. Well, he didn't wear the suit, but he was still... odd. I mean, it wasn't a BAD time. It just wasn't a FUN time. I can't really put my finger on WHAT is so wrong and un-fun about him, but I think hanging around the law school all day has something to do with it. That and I think that he thinks he's the smartest person ever and he isn't. At all. Also, he didn't pay. JUST SAYING.

First things first, I got my hairz cut last night after work. I went to a New Hair Guy because my regular hair girl, Joey, had a babyyyy and is on maternity leave. Anyway, I sort of love him a lot and will probably continue to go to him even once Joey returns because it's way more convenient to walk 4 blocks to a salon after work instead of making my merry way out to the 'burbs. I'll miss Joey, she's my original girl crush, but if you love someone, SET THEM FREE. Or something. Also, New Hair Guy gives me wine. So there's that.

Anyway, I was telling New Hair Guy Dave that I've always wanted to add dark blue streaks to my hair but I know I never will because I'm a chicken shit and my boss would probably hate it and can me. Not to mention my mom, but whatever. So New Hair Guy Dave starts going on about how FABULOUS fake hair is and how I totally need to go buy some pieces to play around with. Then he shows me that HE'S wearing fake hair (these bang-like things). "YES, I'm wearing a WEAVE and I LOVE IT." Today at work I was telling my boss this and she's all YOU TOTALLY HAVE TO GET SOME! So apparently I was wrong about her hating my hypothetical blue hair. (Fake) BLUE HAIR IS IN MY FUTURE. YES. I'm a bit nervous, since I have zero experience with gluing things to my head, but we'll see.

Here's me (duh):



How totally myspace-y with the mirror. :D
I'm growing it out but cut it to make it look longer as it grows. Funny how that works.

In not-hair news, I was talking to Tyler about how I'm seriously becoming unfazed when it comes to the things people I go on dates with tell me. I mean, there was the guy with the bloody nipples, the one who astrally traveled every morning with his raw oats and flax seeds, and then the most recent fellow who informed me that his uncle just recently gave up his cock-fighting ring because it recently became a felony in Tennessee and he is "too old to go to jail" (because there is ever a good time?). Apparently he was just cool with it when it was a misdemeanor. Anyway, Tyler was like, "Well the common denominator here is you! You're insightful and listen so I guess people just end up telling you things! I mean, I know I've told you things about me that I normally wouldn't. It just sort of... spills out." So there you have it people, if you have freak-ish habits or things you'd normally keep to yourself, you can't find from me. Soon I will know all your secrets.



Oh, PS, I seriously DESPISE this commercial:



Also, "Comedy Tube"? Russians think advocating dudes being dicks after one night stands is funny?